Stand by me.

Hey ho, let's go!

Today I wrote the third song for my album. :D The reason behind was / is that I kept playing a riff that came to me randomly yesterday for two consecutive days and thought, "Okay, I have to do something with this, or else it will vanish again."... So I wrote a new song, using said riff. I cannot tell you about the song yet (IT'S CONFIDENTIAL!! ANYWAY - HOW IS YOUR SEX LIFE? XDDD), but I really like it, even though one significant element needed for the "melody" is missing, and I need to find this as soon as possible, so that I can use it for recording, uh huh.

Other than that, I kept practicing every day ever since finishing said goal (the practice routine one), and whilst I told somebody today that I think it still may take some time to get ingrained as a routine in my mind, it will happen eventually, very, very soon. I can feel it. :D

What else? I hope everybody is doing okay. ^^ I will leave you with this for now, sorry, because I cannot use my brrains right now. But hey, at least the zombies will not kill me now, eh? Have a lovely rest of the day.

Oh, the flow!

Hey there!

One more goal reached :D (number 73). I actually more or less made myself play the guitar and sing today, even though I felt kind of depressed earlier today. It helped. Luckily. I know it doesn't always work its magic, but this time, it worked.

Other than that, I went for a walk, despite the approaching storm whose quick winds started to get to this area I live in.

I also discovered a great blog / website for vegan recipes today, which is unfortunately in German, but I *still* would like to link to them now: [Link]... Just because I really admire them, and the photos worked its magic with me, too; I want to try ALL THE RECIPES :). I myself am not *100%* vegan yet, but I am doing my best to veganise recipes and to pay attention to what I end up eating / consuming. ^^

So what goal will follow next? I think I might go for goal number 56 (Leave an inspirational note inside a book for someone to find), or 71 (Do something for a person that has made a difference in my life), or 93 (Declutter my bedroom). I think it would be the first and the last most likely, even though I have ideas for all of them already. I want to not just declutter what is in my bedroom, but also sell what I think deserves a new home... I also am wondering, what could be both inspirational but also NOT harmful to a person finding a book of mine? I know some stuff that is considered "inspirational" can lead to the exact opposite, but I want something that empowers others, and lifts their moods. This is hard. I already know which book I might put this in, though. 💜

I say hello to the nice people.

Hello there, nice people!

Good news: I continued the practice routine (Guitar + singing), and am making progress with the song I chose to sing for singing lessons... ^^ I quickly jotted down the chords for the song, too, so that I could accompany myself when I am practicing. :) With singing lessons, I had my third one this week. I honestly think it is both something I am grateful for and something that challenges me... Singing is one of the things that make me happiest.

I also got to write the second song for my album, so there are still 11 more to go. :) I am looking forward to the rest of them, and to recording them for real... I hope by the time I am done that the pandemic will be over (Stop laughing now, will you!!).

I hope you are all doing fine. :) I also continued taking walks each day, despite it snowing last night and whatnot. It brings me so much joy to get out, breathe in fresh air, move my legs a little, and so on and so on. It is just a win-win situation for me (and for the dog! :D).

What else? I think that's about it. I will now continue with the obvious.

Question No. 6 from the 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: If happiness was a national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

There are many! :) I think first and foremost, music has to be involved. Whenever I am surrounded by music, when I am practicing or performing, when I am talking about music, when I discover new songs / bands / musicians that I find awesome, etc. That makes me happy. I look up to those who know what they are doing, and also to those who say they don't (but it somehow always works out well :P) musically. I think music is the ultimate form of art for me... It gives me pictures in my mind that move around like a movie, or that stand still like put in a picture frame. It expresses things that cannot be put into words, and when it uses words, most often the poetic language accompanying the pieces is doing what the melody and rhythm do on their own, too. It is fascinating. I think, if somebody gave me all the instruments I wish for (AHEM... There are many. ;)), I would maybe never be found again, unless I feel like performing. I don't mind either, TBH. Just--- music. So yes, I would most likely be making music. ^^ Also, dabbling into other creative endeavors... It just makes me feel rebellious in an odd way, and when feeling rebellious I feel alive, and therefore quite happy. I wouldn't mind these to stay "side projects" though, even though I think it is nice to shake things up every now and then... Also, speaking foreign languages with other people, hopefully their native language. And working with tarot cards, astrology, etc. And some exercises, too (As I said above, walking! And dancing, too!). And travelling.... AND :D... I think this is all.

I know I am not the greatest ever in any of these, but I think this is not the question. I think this is just perfectionist Rina chiming in to say, "You cannot earn anything with any of this, you are not good enough yet!". I think, if people always waited for permission to follow their hearts, the world would never make steps forward. We'd still be stuck with what happened so so so long ago. No progress. We need to find out what matters to us, and I feel this thing that is so dear to us is YEARNING to be expressed. Please don't let it yearn forever...

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Last point for today, five more things that I like about myself (This is so hard to do!):

11) Despite my problems with perfectionism (Which is a long term one!), I don't mind embarrassing myself every now and then (by doing something different). I think I have done quite a lot of things in my life that others would shake their heads over, even though I didn't harm anybody. For example, in summer I once went barefoot through our pedestrian precinct, put my shoes into my trousers (They didn't fall down, thank goodness XDD), and just enjoyed that I could walk over the asphalt feeling the earth below my feet. It was nice. It wasn't the only time I went outside without any shoes or that I removed my shoes in the long run (PUN!), but I think a lot of people just stared at me... I didn't mind, I said back then I wanted to start a new trend. Didn't work, but still, it was fun. :P Don't you blame me.

12) I try to be honest with everybody I get to know, but without hurting their feelings. This is quite a task to do, but usually I manage to do this just fine. I often find the right words in situations when others may need them, and I have been told before that I can really uplift other people... I think this is something like a hidden talent of mine, and I don't acknowledge it enough.

13) I am passionate. And Biff goes: "Oh là là?" I mean this mostly in the sense of, when I love something, I dive into this deeply. I want to learn everything about it. It excites me, and my full enthusiasm gets absorbed into this one special something. (There is a downside to this, though, but we are not here to talk this much about downsides, eh?)

14) I'm sosososo rebellious. I have always loved stuff that was not seen or heard everywhere. My favourite celebrity growing up was David Bowie (THANK YOU, LABYRINTH!! :D) and I still remember how this younger version of me was like, "I will marry David Bowie when I grow up!" - Well, you can see clearly now, this hasn't worked out (Plus, I wouldn't want to take him away from the love(s) of his life). BUT! With Bowie as Jareth the Goblin King, I found a type of person I really adored. And the more I learned about so-called alternative subcultures (I mainly refer to punk and goth right now), the more I saw people with e. g. tattoos and piercings, the more I felt drawn to the lifestyle. I feel this is something that goes against the norm and expresses some rebellion, BUT I also adore how it looks, I love the music from the genres especially associated with these two categories. I adore androgyny, too (Again, thanks to Bowie!). I also once had a crush on Alice Cooper for a short while when I was eight. Not to the point I would say I wanted to marry him (I was out of that phase by then XD), but I think back then I drew a lot of comics and invented stories with guys called Alice for this simple reason. Yeah... Yeah. 

15) I don't take myself too seriously (Despite what others may think!). Sure some things from my past I wouldn't joke about, as these weren't things that I would wish upon anybody else. BUT! I can make jokes about myself, I can really laugh about some stuff I have done, and I can admit openly that I have made mistakes in the past. I think this is something important to do; we all are here to learn, after all. It all depends on the context of course, but usually I can laugh about my own silly events coming into my life!

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And that's that... again. ^^ Have a lovely rest of the day, people out there!!

Developing routines.

First off, hello again.

I am already feeling better than last time I posted something here, but still wanted to make sure I won't slip back into old behaviors, so I didn't update anything for those past days.

I kept up my taking-daily-walks routine, though. Obviously, I did this for seven days just to be able to check this goal off my list once I finished this, but oddly enough, I feel like it has become a habit now. A very beneficial one for my mental health, too. I am happy when I can be outside. I am by no means very extroverted, but I still love being outside, be it in nature or going to other places... Since the latter is not as easy to do in the pandemic, I feel like taking walks is pretty much the only time I can spend out and about, not thinking about current problems as much, as I need to concentrate on taking our dog for a walk.

I also tried to pick up reading again, but noticed the book I am currently reading is not really doing me much good, so I need to postpone this a bit, or at least find something lighter to read before getting back to said book. I don't mean to diss the book here, it is well-written and I get to empathise with the main character... A little too much, though, and that's the problem :(.

For today, I had planned several things and got them all done. I feel accomplished deep down like, YAY I DID THIS. I wrote a letter of application and got to send it, I got to take our dog for a walk, and... I got to practice singing. :) Since I have been taking lessons again for a while now, this is really something I look forward to, too. I even ended up grabbing my guitar and strumming along my own song then. And I practiced some singing along the guitar strumming in general, as I often struggle concentrating on both at the same time (Please don't laugh. It can be quite hard sometimes, but I feel I didn't do too badly.).

My next goal to tackle is the 73rd goal: Develop a practice routine that I can keep up. I need to fix the name of this goal, though, as I cannot cross this off at any point in the future. It is an ongoing process. So I will say, since walking for seven days constantly helped me get into this habit, I want to practice each day for a week. Starting today. :) I want to practice both singing and the guitar. If I can squeeze other instruments in there (ukulele, keyboard, ...), I will do this, too, but my main focus for now is my voice and my guitar playing.

I generally practice singing the song "Starman" by David Bowie right now, which happens to be my favourite song by him. There is so much to learn about this song! I want to also get the notes so I can accompany myself on another instrument while singing the song, but let's not rush this... Baby steps. :D

I hope everybody is doing well, too. Before I forget it:

Five more things I like about myself:

6) I can be very adventurous. You may not be able to tell this oftentimes, as I can get bored easily. But I love travelling, learning new stuff about other cultures, and just... I often "suffer" from wanderlust. I am currently trying to fulfill the need with an app I recently downloaded (Geoguessr), in which you are "dumped" in a place anywhere on this planet and you need to find clues where you are via Google Maps, and then submit your guess. I sometimes am not bad there, othertimes I think, "OH I AM IN ARGENTINA!!!" and then end up being told, uh oh, you are in Spain or so. It is really exciting to do, though. ^^ And I love how my sister often goes, "Let's find a delivery car on the road to find out where we are!!" when she plays this with me.

7) I give everybody a chance. I have been told before this is rather naive, but honestly, I know what it is like to never get a chance to show yourself, and that first impressions can be really awful (despite both parties being equally interesting, nice, and fun to be around deep down). I just think, I could be wrong with each first impression. I give people the chance to prove themselves. If they, for whatever reason, turn out to be completely unworthy of my time, I don't bother anymore, but I gave them the chance to prove they ARE worthy of my time beforehand. And I wouldn't want it another way, to be honest.

8) I am keen to learn foreign languages. I once read / heard somewhere something along the lines of, "Speak to somebody in a language they learned, and you speak to their mind. Speak to somebody in their mother tongue, and you speak to their heart." Foreign languages do not just keep me busy, they also help me get the points of view from other people, no matter where they're from. The more you know language-wise, the broader your view becomes, the more empathic you become, the less you understand the need for nations to quarrel. God, I am such a hippie XD. But I feel, after all, everybody has similar wishes for themselves... Basic needs, and so on. Why should some people be stripped off these basic needs just to make sure others have it "better"?

9) I see the world as a number of riddles to be solved. I remember as a child / teenie I questioned everything I learned in school. I needed to find out everything on my own, and so I did. I tried to find loopholes for mathematic laws and I loved reading in school books in my free time. I may have been quite a nerd, BUT! I just loved learning, which I already touched upon. With maths especially, I feel every question / problem I come across is like a riddle, which I have to solve with the understanding of maths I have at that very moment. It is not always easy / doable, but I just love these riddles.

10) I am kind to animals. Animals, my favourite companions. :) I was the type of person to always be the "cuddle buddy" of each pet the host of a party may have shared their home with... I get that around animals, we have to be patient and kind. I am trying not to do any harm to animals I come across (even those I am scared of...). I have arachnophobia, among other fears, for example. I might get scared, but I will try my best to catch the animals and put them in trees outside or so then.

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Other than that. Here's the 5th question of the 50 questions that will free your mind:

What is the one thing you'd most like to change about the world?

I have to be honest here. I just wish other people would make more effort to be understanding of the human state. We are not perfect creatures, we all have flaws. I just think, with many people, they expect you to ace in everything you do, and it can be quite devastating when you DON'T. Pressure on others can only do harm, that is. I would also want the world to be free from greed and corruption. (I know technically, I already am at my second / third wish here, but pfff, this is my wish, I can do whatever I want~!! :P) I think there are many things in the world that actually bring out the worst in people, but I ALSO wish people would more focus on who they are, instead of the expectations of others.

Maybe the world would be better if we were just allowed to be ourselves.

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Hippie!Rina has spoken. *nods* If you have any comments, leave them below!